In the right direction
I can tell that you're starting to grow with this piece. I respect this song because I know what you were trying to accomplish. I remember when I was trying to slug it out with some mediocre samplers and FL Slayer to try and grasp that raw edgy sound. It's really hard to get that without being able to hop on some live instruments and play it all out.
My only suggestion would be to keep at it and upgrade your synths and programs whenever you can. Also just when you've finished a piece of work I'd suggest doing a "save as" and using the same song create another file of the same one. that way you can keep the original piece in tact, and have a spare one that you can toy with and experiment with. I don't know how you do your work but I've found that some of the best songs were derivatives of my older stuff that I gave complete makeovers to. In summary, Keep it up! Your doing the damn thing!! Peace!